


Breathing

by Maia_Nebula



Category: Andi Mack (TV)
Genre: First chapter is 'friends to lovers', M/M, Second chapter is 'sex', The total opposite of a slow burn, Tyrus - Freeform, but it's not graphic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-24
Updated: 2019-07-24
Packaged: 2020-07-12 11:51:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,899
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19945714
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Maia_Nebula/pseuds/Maia_Nebula
Summary: I’ve always known TJ’s blunt, but I can’t believe he just said that. He shrugs and looks away.“Seriously, how can you really know if you haven’t done it? Maybe you like the idea of it, but when push comes to shove, you might change your mind,” he says, and looks at me again.“Well, yeah, but I know I’m gay. I didn’t have to research that.”“Ah, I see,” he says knowingly, “you’re going with your gut instinct.”





	1. Take a breath...

**Author's Note:**

> For some reason, I imagine their interactions would be rather playful, so that's why I wrote it this way. That makes the switch from banter to shenanigans very obvious, but I hope that's ok.

I’ve always known TJ’s blunt, but I can’t believe he just said that. He looks away.  
“Seriously, how can you really know if you haven’t done it? Maybe you like the idea of it, but when push comes to shove, you might change your mind,” he says, and looks at me again. 

Seriously, the things he comes up with…  
“You’ve clearly given this some thought.” 

He smiles.  
“What can I say? I like to research.”  
“Right…”  
“What’s wrong with that? Don’t you like knowing stuff before talking about it?”  
“Well, yeah, but I _know_ I’m gay. I didn’t have to _research_ that.”  
“Ah, I see,” he says knowingly, “you’re going with your gut instinct.” 

His grin grows and I can’t help returning it. I still roll my eyes, though. I mean, we’re talking about this in a public place (the library, but still) and he doesn’t even blush. I feel my face heating up.

And then he pokes my cheek. I bat his hand away.  
“Ooohhh,” he says tauntingly, making me chuckle. “Someone’s embarrassed.”  
“Of course I am. I’ve never heard you be so… straightforward.” 

TJ shrugs.  
“I don’t want you to use what you told me last Friday as a label. I read that some people can be homoromantic without being homosexual, so they can be romantically –but not sexually– attracted to their same sex or gender.”  
“And you think I’m like that?” I ask, not knowing if I feel flattered that he’s looking that up or annoyed that he doubts what I told him.  
“Well, you’re kind and affectionate.” He shrugs again. “Have you had a crush on someone already?” 

I can _feel_ my blush deepen.  
“Yeah.”  
“Same sex or gender?”  
“…Yeah.” I roll my eyes again. “That’s kind of how I figured I was gay.” 

He nods.  
“Did you fantasize about having sex with him?” 

I cough and splutter. He smiles lopsidedly.  
“I’m guessing that’s a no.” 

I _so_ want to contradict him, but I can’t. He continues.  
“You should, though. It’s the most fun you’ll have until you actually do it.” 

And he winks at me before going back to his homework. I can’t help but stare.  
“Like, fantasize about guys?”  
“Sure. I do – why wouldn’t you?” 

\--- 

An hour later I’m still mulling it over. I know he won’t mind if I bring it up, but I have butterflies in my stomach just thinking about it, and their fluttering gets so bad that I can’t concentrate on what we’re doing. He frowns.  
“Hey, you alright?”  
“Yes,” I immediately answer, shaking my head before noticing my mouth and my body are not agreeing. “I’m sorry. Where were we?”  
“We were about to take a break.” TJ replies, standing up to start pacing in front of me. The table is between us, but I can see he’s slightly limping.  
“You ok?”  
“Yeah, just a leg cramp. We’ve been sitting for like two days already.” 

We haven’t, so I smile. And then I can feel my head tilting and my mouth uttering the words before I can stop them.  
“Are you gay?” 

He looks at me confused, and I blanch, totally appalled that my mouth and body have finally agreed, and have together done something horrifying.  
“I’m sorry– _I’m so, so sorry_ –I can’t believe I just you asked that–” 

TJ sits back down, looking at me intently.  
“It’s ok, it’s ok. Don’t worry about it.” 

But I can feel tears springing to my eyes. He tries to take my hands, but I pull them away and sit on them, biting my lip as hard as I can.  
“Hey, I said it’s ok. We’re good, ok?”  
“I shouldn’t have said that. I’m so sorry–”  
“Yeah, got that part.” He laughs easily. How can he be so calm about it? He looks away for a moment before his green eyes meet mine. “I am, in fact, gay, so no harm there.” He laughs again. “Didn’t think I’d tell you like this, but there you go.” 

If that’s supposed to make me feel better – well, it doesn’t. I’ve outed him… But he doesn’t seem to care much about it, though.  
“You got it from me talking about fantasies, right? Hmm… Kinda my fault, isn’t it?” He laughs again and I give up: is he laughing because he’s happy or because he’s nervous? “Wish I’d done it more dramatically, like on a bench in front of a roaring fire in the middle of winter or something.” 

I shake my head and my voice is quiet.  
“Sorry.”  
“No worries, I’ll tell you again in December.” He smirks playfully. “You’ll pretend not to know and then we can kiss after confessing our undying love to each other, just like it happens in all those sappy movies you like, snowflakes scattered on our hair and eyelashes, our cheeks pink from the cold.” 

He gets a faraway look in his eyes, still smirking, and I raise an eyebrow, but he ignores me, pretending he’s daydreaming. I huff at his antics and dry my tears. Once I’m done, since he’s still supposedly off in Lalaland, I clear my throat. I notice I do that a lot around him. He doesn’t mention it, deciding instead to look at me again, grinning like the idiot he is.  
“Yeah… That’d be more dramatic.” I say, deadpan. He smiles happily.  
“Definitely.” 

And he stands up again to shake his leg.

\---

School ends two weeks later and the end-of-the-school-year party is still going strong when I finally find somewhere to sit down. So far, I’ve danced for who knows how long with everyone I know, so my feet are throbbing and I’m sweating like crazy. I automatically decide to fan myself, throwing my head back to look at the ceiling – I’ll catch my breath first, drink something later.

I’m about to close my eyes when TJ’s face appears above mine. I smile and right myself. He’s smiling, too.  
“Killer party,” he yells above the music. I just give him a thumbs up, making him roll his eyes. “Wanna go outside?” 

I nod but signal him to wait for a bit –I really am dying of thirst– and then I return, following him out with a red cup in my hands. He rolls his eyes again as we cross the road and sit on the curb. As always, he’s comfortable with extending his legs onto the pavement, while I sit cross-legged facing his side, because there’s no need for both of us to lose our legs if someone suddenly loses control of their car. Admittedly, there are rarely cars on this street, but still.  
“I can’t believe they’re using those for fruit punch. We’re in middle school, not playing beer pong in college.”  
“Actually, it tastes a lot like it’s been spiked, if you ask me.” I lie, pulling a face.  
“Right,” he smirks. “Like you would know.”  
“Well, _I_ , unlike some other people, do drink apple cider and wine.” I wince before adding, “with my parents’ permission, of course.”  
“And _I_ , unlike you, do know what vodka tastes like. Not that my parents know.” 

I gawk at him and he laughs.  
“Ok, ok, I don’t know what it tastes like. Got you, though.” 

I let out a breath and chuckle. He shakes his head.  
“So, what did you want to talk about?” 

He picks up a pebble and throws it. It falls on the yellow lane line.  
“Dunno. Anything, really.”  
“Oh.” Something’s going on, but I won’t press him. Instead, I wrack my brains for a conversation topic. “You know, I was going to ask you the other day, but I forgot. What are you doing this summer?” 

He shrugs, looking at the house we just left.  
“My parents haven’t said anything yet, so I guess we’ll be staying here. And you? Are you going to London again?”  
“No, too expensive. But my dad has been talking about going to the beach, so maybe that’ll be it.” 

TJ takes another pebble and throws it. It lands a bit further than the first one.  
“ _I’d_ like to go to the beach. It’s been years since we last went.”  
“Why don’t I ask my dad if you can come? I’ll–”  
“Don’t worry about it,” he replies, staring at me fondly. “Let’s just hang out while you’re here.” 

I pout.  
“But we could have so much fun!” 

His hand seems to reach for mine, but it ends up on his knee.  
“We always do.” He licks his lips and looks away. “Don’t pout. It’s… distracting.” 

My face burns. I don’t know what to reply, but he, apparently, has something to say.  
“ _You’re_ distracting, in general. What’s going on?” he asks quietly. I can’t tell for sure, but I think he’s upset.  
“What do you mean?”

He sighs.  
“You’re… you’re behaving strangely around me. You’re usually outgoing and happy, but lately you’ve been pretty quiet, and it seems like you get anxious when we’re together, but I don’t see that happening to you with anyone else.” He frowns. “Have I done something wrong?”  
“No, not all!” _I’m just having the biggest crush on you ever, and it doesn’t let me think (or act) straight._ “It’s just, you know, end-of-the-year exams and everything,” I say lamely. 

He turns to look at me.  
“I don’t particularly appreciate it when you lie to me.” 

I’m trapped, but that doesn’t mean I won’t try to get out of it.  
“Look, I’m sorry for whatever it is I’m doing, and I’ll try my best to not do it again.” 

But, as ever, I should have known TJ wouldn’t be sidetracked; and, as always, I should have known he’d be blunt about this, too.  
“Cyrus,” his eyes don’t leave mine. “Do you like me?” 

This is the worst moment of my life. I can’t even answer.  
“I ask because I like you, too.” 

Scratch that, this is the best moment of my life. A moment that extends forever, in silence. He sighs and looks at the stars. I can finally see what he looks like when he blushes.

And, when I move forward to hug him, he doesn’t hug me back.

\---

We are still quiet when we reach the swings. I want to say I like him, too, but I don’t know why I can’t. Maybe ‘push’ already came to ‘shove’ and I’m afraid of what I’ll be getting myself into. Still, I intertwine our fingers as we move back and forth slowly.  
“So now what?” He asks. I smile and shrug.  
“I don’t really know. No one’s liked me before.”  
“Someone must have. Maybe they just didn’t tell you about it.” 

My smile broadens.  
“That’s a really nice thing to say.” 

TJ frowns and slows to a stop.  
“It’d be nicer to say if you liked me back.” 

He immediately grimaces.  
“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said that.” Then he takes a breath and lowers his gaze. “I’m a bit disappointed, that’s all, but it isn’t too bad – I promise I’ll get over it as soon as I can.” 

I don’t want him to, but I still can’t say the words, so I let go of his hand and stand up. His lips turn downward at this, but when I step closer to him, he looks up at me again, eyes wide.

And then I slowly move and kiss him. I can’t tell if he stopped breathing or if he’s hyperventilating, because I forget how to breathe, too.

\---

It progresses slowly – we tell my friends about a week later, and he doesn’t tell his because he says he doesn’t have any. After all the drama with Reed, I’m sure he doesn’t.

And, about a month later, when we’re sitting in his room playing my favorite game ever, he pauses it and turns to look at me. My smile disappears when I notice he looks uneasy.  
“You ok?”  
“Sure,” I reply, a bit wary. I don’t remember doing anything weird lately. “Why?”  
“I just feel like… Like we’re stuck.” 

Oh, no: there’s gonna be crying now. I try to keep it together, though.  
“Because of me?”  
“No!” He looks horrified. “How can you even say that?”  
“Dunno.” I cross my arms. “What else am I supposed to think?” 

He shakes his head.  
“I didn’t mean that. What I meant is…” He sighs, frowning. “I don’t know what I meant.” 

He’s clearly troubled, so I instinctively try to help him figure out what’s wrong.  
“Maybe you’re just bored or something?”  
“That might be it.” He laughs: he loves it when I play therapist. 

Once he calms down, he tilts his head, looking at me warmly.  
“We’re doing the same thing over and over after all, aren’t we?” 

I glare at him.   
“So this _is_ about me.”  
“No,” he smiles lopsidedly. “What I mean is, would you be interested in us doing more?” 

I’m confused, and I think my face shows it.  
“Doing more of what?”  
“More of this,” he frowns again, gesturing between us. 

I look down at the control and then back at him.  
“You mean, like playing more videogames or something?”  
“No, Cyrus,” he replies, almost annoyed. 

I glower, feeling annoyed myself. TJ takes a deep breath.  
“Ok, baby steps,” he says, nodding to himself. “I’m the only boyfriend you’ve had, right?” 

I blush immediately. He briefly looks at the ceiling, but he’s smiling now.  
“Right. Well, I was wondering if you’d like to do more than kissing. That is, no pressure, ok? Just if you want us to.” 

I raise my eyebrows.  
“I’m unimpressed. I thought this question would be made in a more romantic setting.” 

He chuckles.  
“This is romantic.”  
“You were beating me at MarioKart and paused it to be angrily vague about this. I don’t think that counts as romantic.” 

He rolls his eyes.  
“Yeah. Sorry about that.” He bites his lip for a moment. A very, _very_ short moment. “So, would you?” 

I’m still beet red, but I nod.  
“Well go slow, ok?” He says reassuringly. I grin.  
“Everything between us has been slow so far.”  
“We can fix that.” 

And with that, he topples me over and I fall off the chair, laughing. He takes advantage of it and starts tickling me, making me squirm on the floor.

He’s above me on all fours when he stops, staring at me intently.  
“Oh.” I swallow hard. “You meant like, fix that right now?”  
“Only if you want us to.” 

I chuckle, place my hands on the back of his neck and pull him down. I feel him grinning against my lips, so I open mine and takes the hint. He slides his tongue against mine lovingly, and I take a moment to enjoy feeling his lips and teeth with my own.

Then one of his hands moves under my shirt, running down my side. I shiver.  
“Do you like this?” 

I nod, smiling. His hand does it again until I have goosebumps on, well, everywhere, and I can no longer smile. But TJ’s a man on a mission. I know because of the next thing he whispers.  
“Wanna take off your shirt?” 

Ok, this isn’t going as slow as I thought it would, but I open my eyes and nod again.

I fumble a bit with the buttons, while he pulls his t-shirt right over his head. I’ve seen him shirtless before, but he hasn’t seen me, and it seems he wasn’t expecting what he sees.  
“You’re so pale.” He says softly, running a hand down my chest. Like in a trance, he bends over and kisses it. 

I flush all the way down to my neck. He looks up and kisses me again.

And it feels glorious, having his body, his skin, against me, and I’m cold, but he’s so warm. It makes no sense–

And then he’s going down, kissing my neck, my collarbone, my chest – running his tongue over my nipple before sucking it softly. I gasp and my back arches; I can’t control it, every nerve on fire. I hold on to his shoulders, wanting to pull him closer against me, but I don’t: I don’t want to distract him from–

He chuckles as I groan, and he switches to the other side, like he hasn’t just bit me. I pull him up and bite his lip to see if he likes it.

Apparently, he does.

And then he breaks the kiss and takes a breath, moving down again. He’s placing open-mouthed kissed on my stomach now, and my legs open further to accommodate him as he moves. He stops at my navel and licks at it, and my back arches again. He smiles and nips at it, pushing against me. I groan again.  
“Still liking it?” 

I can’t nod any harder as I squirm.  
“Wanna take off your pants?” 

I lock my eyes with his. He stops his movements, looking dead serious.  
“We can also stop here, or we can continue just doing this. It’s your call, ok?” 

I try to slow my breathing and my heart. I really don’t want to disappoint him, but this feels like too much, too fast.  
“I’d prefer if we – if we–” 

I start trembling: the room _is_ cold and I’m shirtless, after all. He moves up and hugs me.  
“It’s ok, it’s ok, don’t worry. I love making out with you. Wanna do that instead?” 

I feel like crying when I say yes. He kisses my tears away.


	2. ...and breathe me in.

Thirteen days later we’re having the dumbest argument in the history of the universe.  
“No, no,” I insist. “I _think_ I am, but we’ve gotta _make sure_ I _am_ gay, right? That’s what you said. You said you did your research, and I want to do mine now.” 

He laughs.   
“That’s the lamest excuse you’ve ever said to me.” 

I pout and he groans, smiling.  
“I _told_ you, you distract me when you pout.” 

And, with that, he lunges forward and captures my lips with his, eagerly kissing me as I fall back on the mattress. He moves back with a mischievous grin.  
“You sure you wanna research? Because I’m all for it.” 

TJ looks at me suggestively. Because I’m _pretty_ sure, I nod.

He makes me move up so he can take my shirt and pants off, and then lies me back down. Sadly, he only takes off his t-shirt, but I can’t worry about that for long: he’s kissing my lips and then he’s at my navel, circling it with his wet, warm tongue. _He has a thing for navels_ , I think, as I look at the ceiling and bite my hand to keep quiet. He pushes my hips down.  
“Don’t raise them.” 

I mumble “I’m sorry” around my palm –I didn’t even know I was moving– and then he places his hand on me over my underwear.  
“Someone’s hard.” 

I can _hear_ him smiling. Bastard.

He strokes me softly and speaks again without stopping. His hand feels heavy and the friction against the fabric is making me lightheaded.  
“Still wanna go ahead with this?”

I nod again, so he spits in the palm of his hand before lowering my boxers and–

No, my hand can’t silence me at all.

I moan again as he adjusts his grip and his tempo. He’s going slowly, torturously, purposely moving me to the edge. I can’t control my movements anymore: my knees are shaking, my legs are spreading further apart, and my hands have fisted his comforter, which is actually _a quilt his grandmother sewed for him._ And on top of which we’re doing this.

Oh, God, I can’t believe we’re desecrating it. 

He doesn’t seem to mind.

And then I make the mistake of looking at him. His green eyes stare into mine when he closes his thumb and index finger around me, before taking me in his mouth with pursed lips. There’s nothing like this: somehow, I’m focused on the heat and the suction and the wetness, but also on the rush that’s building up. His tongue circles the tip; I feel myself tighten, and I’m throbbing, and my back arches–

I pull him up with all my strength. He moves, placing himself a little to my right so he’s no longer completely on top of me.  
“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” I hear myself repeating, my eyes screwed shut.  
“It’s ok, it’s ok, you did nothing wrong. We don’t have to do anything you don’t want us to do, ok? Just tell me and we’ll stop.”  
“I don’t want us to stop,” I whisper. “I was just–” 

I open my eyes and he’s staring at me, confused.  
“I – I think I – I was about to–” 

I’m blushing furiously and it takes him a moment, but he chuckles and repositions himself on top of me, kissing me briefly.  
“So? That’s kind of the point.” 

I grimace.  
“I couldn’t do that in your – in your –”  
“Mouth? Sure you can!” He smiles broadly. “I’m actually curious, because I like how you taste so far.” 

He must be lying, but he looks so sincere… And then he hugs me because I’m trembling (his house _is_ like a freaking igloo). TJ rubs my arms and then moves his hands to my chest and lower stomach, caressing both softly. My nipples and…everything else…could not be more erect.  
“Wanna try again?” 

_How many more times will I have to nod?_

This time, he takes it slowly, and I don’t know whether to thank him for it or make him speed up. He carefully closes his hand around my flesh, rolling one part of me between his fingers, then the other.  
“They really are round. Do you think that’s why they call them ‘balls’?” 

I chuckle nervously and the sound makes him look up, as he experimentally puts them in his mouth. It’s warm and his tongue is moving and–

My head slams back against the mattress, my head tilting up to look at the wall.  
“Do you like that?” 

I basically _proclaim_ my agreement, at least as well as I’m able to. And then I feel him sucking my length again.

My head instinctively moves so I can look at him, and he’s sucking in his cheeks as he bobs up, relaxing them when he goes back down. It looks like he’s concentrating – I _know_ I will never be able to look at him again doing homework without thinking about him sucking my–

His tongue circles my tip again, and then he sucks loudly, and my hand is possessed, because it grasps at the short hairs on the back of his head and pushes him down. He makes a sound, I’m not sure if of surprise or disapproval, but he shifts as I pull him up and push him down again.

My hips are definitely moving now; I can’t help it. Up, down, up, down, my hand and hips go, and so does his head. Oh, is this why it’s called ‘giving head’? I don’t care, it’s the best thing anyone ever invented.

And I can feel him swallowing around me. His mouth is hot now, made smaller by the movement, and then it’s too much. I can feel everything and nothing at all at once, and the pressure that’s been building up is released, taking me with it. I can no longer be quiet. I moan, shaking violently, as my body can’t decide whether to relax or tense up, and I feel pleasure in waves as I writhe uncontrollably.

And then I can feel TJ moving away after a moment, but I don’t even care where he’s gone. He returns minutes later, propping himself down by my side.  
“I definitely get why people like this,” I say breathlessly. He chuckles and pecks my lips. They taste minty; he’s probably brushed his teeth. I comment on it.  
“I guessed you’d prefer it. I didn’t want to, though: it was nice – you taste a bit salty and a bit sweet.” 

I can’t at the moment, but, if I could, I’d turn beet red.

\---

It takes me a couple of weeks (and of TJ’s sinful sessions) to gather the courage to consider reciprocating. I feel a bit guilty I haven’t done it before –it has been selfish of me–, but this type of thing is definitely out of my comfort zone. 

So that’s how I end up fidgeting nervously on TJ’s bed while he’s spinning around on his chair.  
“I’m so _boreeeddd_.” He groans. I really hope he’ll be less bored soon, I think, as I stand up and lock his door. He stops spinning and smiles cheekily.   
“Nice…” 

I sit back down on the bed and try to shrug nonchalantly. I’m sure I fail at it.  
“I’m bored, too.” 

He really likes this turn of events. I know because he walks towards me, licking his lips and goes to kneel down in front of me. I stop him.  
“Come, sit with me,” I say quietly, patting the bed. 

He does so, his body against mine. I smile and turn to straddle him, placing my lips on his. I can tell he’s surprised, because he doesn’t return the kiss for the first couple of seconds. He does hold onto my waist instinctively.

I press myself down against him and he breaks the kiss.  
“What are you doing?”  
“Shh… Just let me.” 

This time, I kiss him open-mouthed and he doesn’t stop me. His tongue meets mine and I groan as I rock myself against him again. I bite his bottom lip softly –I know he loves it– and move my hand between his legs. He sucks in a breath.  
“What are you doing?” He whispers. He usually doesn’t repeat himself.  
“Relieving your boredom,” I reply. He moans in my mouth and pulls me closer, but I push his arms away and let myself slide between his legs until I’m on my knees on the floor.

His eyes widen and his smile falters, but I caress his leg over his jeans.   
“Take these off.” 

He looks surprised, so I wait for him to process what I said.  
“Cyrus, you don’t have to.” He breathes.  
“No, but I want to.” 

He shakes his head and tries to pull me up, but I resist, chuckling.  
“Think of it as research: I need to make sure I’m gay.” 

He ruffles my hair and smiles.  
“I’m pretty sure you are.” 

I roll my eyes.  
“It’s easy to be gay with your mouth wrapped around me.” He blushes as I say it.   
“I’ve never heard you be so straightforward before.” 

I shrug with a smile.   
“What can I say? I’ve gotta check if I like it the other way around, too”. 

He combs my hair with his hand before caressing my cheek. I scoot back and he stands, taking off his jeans and t-shirt, throwing both to the side before sitting down. I look at him, amused, and pull the hem of his boxers twice.  
“These too.” 

He frowns slightly.  
“You sure?” 

I nod and he obliges. I then move forward, placing my hands on his thighs for balance, separating them further so I can fit comfortably between them. He’s completely aroused, and my curiosity gets the better of me. His breath stutters when I nuzzle him.

It smells interesting, like his skin but slightly saltier. My hands move up from his thighs to his waist and I can hear him letting out a breath through clenched teeth, so I look up at him. He shrugs and smiles. I turn back to what’s in front of me. It’s then that I actually notice that he’s uncircumcised. It looks… funny. My hand instinctively touches it, pulling the foreskin back. TJ’s hands grip the edge of the bed, but I ignore them.

There’s a bit of what I guess is precum on its tip, and for some reason I wet my thumb with it and circle its head. I can hear TJ breathing hard. I ignore him, too. 

And I wonder what it tastes like, so I lick my thumb and sit back on my haunches. It doesn’t really taste like anything, but it’s still nice.  
“Yeah, I’m definitely gay,” I say, as I move forward again and put him in my mouth. 

TJ moans.

He doesn’t quite fit without me gagging – I should have practiced first. I frown a bit and then figure I can wrap my hand around him right at the point where my mouth can fit him comfortably. It seems like a good plan, so I do so. TJ is so hard and so warm, and he’s loudly groaning – I hope his parents don’t hear us downstairs.  
“Look at me,” he begs, his voice broken. 

I do, although the angle is awkward. I adjust my position. 

His eyes are dilated and he’s rocking involuntarily, thrusting into and out of my mouth. I place a hand on his inner thigh, just to make sure I don’t choke if he moves forward suddenly or too fast. He throws his head back at the touch, and I keep bobbing up and down, but faster. His skin is flushed red all the way down to his chest and I can see a layer of sheen on his body – the room is cold but he’s still sweating. I can feel him tensing up, and I can feel myself getting aroused, my gaze traveling up to his eyes again, when his hand suddenly tangles in my hair and he pulls.  
“Get off,” he says in a strangled voice. “ _Get off, Cyrus_ : I’m almost there.” 

I frown and shake my head, staring at him. His lips are parted, and he can’t help moving me gently up and down his length, his actions not agreeing with what he says.  
“ _Please_ ,” he breathes. “I won’t last much longer.” 

I frown again and tighten my grip, sucking my cheeks in, pressing my tongue harder against him. His hand now clenches painfully in my hair, his movements much less gentle, and I can’t help humming in displeasure. The vibration seems to send him off the edge and, after a couple of shivers, he throws his head back, moaning and shaking as he cums. 

It hits the back of my throat and I have to swallow quickly to avoid choking. It has a weird texture, but the taste, which is hard to describe, isn’t disagreeable. 

Once he’s done convulsing, he falls back down against the bed and I slow down my movements until I release him with a pop. He’s still trembling and red, and I don’t really know what to do now, so I sit on my haunches, hands on the floor. He raises his head and smiles tiredly.  
“Come here,” he says, extending his hand toward me. I take it and climb up next to him, still on my hands and knees. I really want to kiss him. He seems to know. 

He moves me so I’m straddling him again, and then pulls me closer. He’s looking at my lips.  
“Let me go rinse my mouth first.” I say quietly. 

He shakes his head.  
“Come on, I still have you in my mouth.” 

His smile broadens.  
“Great – I’ve always wondered what I taste like.” 

I roll my eyes good-naturedly.  
“Is there anything you’re not curious about?” 

He shakes his head again saying “ _It’s for research purposes_ ,” and pulls me in for a kiss.

It’s lazy and warm, and he breathes me in as his tongue caresses mine, as it slides against my teeth, as it gently turns around. _Gently_ , that’s how he always does things. Well, except when he’s close to cumming, but he can’t help that.

I break it with a sigh. He’s less red now, and he’s not trembling.  
“Want me to return the favor?”  
“No,” I smile, although I’m half hard, “but I would like to cuddle, if that’s ok with you.” 

He chuckles and turns us around so he’s the big spoon and I’m the little spoon.   
“Why wouldn’t it be?” 

My smile grows. He then asks how I’m feeling. If I’m being honest, my legs and jaw are a bit stiff, but I guess that that won’t bother me as much with more practice, so I don’t mention it. And then I feel warmer as he places his open hand on my chest, pulling me closer to him. I can feel his heartbeats against my back, strong and fast. Curious, I bite my lip and start tracing circles on the back of his hand.   
“TJ?” 

He hums contentedly.  
“Did you like it?” 

He chuckles and nuzzles my hair.  
“I thought that was obvious.” 

I nod. He moves back just a little, but it feels like we’re miles apart (‘I want him against me again’ is what I’m saying).  
“Did _you_ like it?” I nod again, but I still feel insecure. I mean, it did take him longer to get off than it took me the first time, and he’s always cheering me on whenever I do anything, so this might have been the worst servicing he’s received, and he would still not tell me. I sigh.  
“It’s just that… I don’t know if I did it right.”

He chuckles again.  
“Trust me: you did it more than right.”  
“I mean, I’d never done it before,” I rant on, although I heard him, “and I don’t know if this was as good as when… you know…” I feel myself curling up, “…others do it.” 

He pulls me closer again. It makes me feel better.  
“I wouldn’t know. All I know is that you were amazing, and that I want to do this every day.”  
“We might learn how to be quiet over time, but our parents would probably find it troubling until then.” 

He laughs quietly.  
“That’s true.” 

He settles against me again. I frown.  
“But you are really good at it.” I insist; I just _need_ to know. “Had you done it before, or…?”  
“Nope,” he replies, popping the ‘p’.  
“But you said you knew you were gay and that you only believed in research.”  
“Yeah, but research can also be just reading stuff online.”  
“TJ!” 

I shake my head. He laughs louder.  
“Plus, ‘research’ includes visuals, and some of the videos were _preeeeetty_ entertaining, if you know what I mean.”  
“Oh, Lord.” I bury my face in my hands and he guffaws.  
“Hey, you liked it, so it can’t be _that_ bad.”  
“Yeah, you’re right.” I know I’m still blushing furiously, but I push back against him. “You should send me some of those links, so I can also be well-informed.”  
“Sure. Let’s add it to your summer reading.” 

I try to elbow him, but I can’t reach him from this position, so I roll my eyes. He snuggles closer, but I can’t feel his heartbeats anymore; I guess they’re back to normal.

Since I’m getting cold, I decide to go get a blanket, but he protests against my movements. I give up and decide his comforter will have to be enough.  
“Move – I’m tired and I wanna cover us both.” 

He whines dramatically.  
“I can’t move. I died. I’m dead.” 

I laugh and shove him around until I’ve freed _the quilt his grandmother sewed for him_ (I cringe) and we’re under it. He nuzzles my hair again, and hums one last time, as his breaths even out. I smile. Not much later, I fall asleep, too.


End file.
